You guys, I’m exhausted. Emotionally, physically drained down to my core. I have not stopped crying all week. This is not a cry where I can just wipe away a tear, I’ve been ugly crying hard. Right as I pick myself up and put myself together, I burst out dry heaving and shaking while the tears roll off my chin.
This week my family lost someone very near and dear to our hearts. Let me tell you guys all about Stacy. Stacy is a mom to London, a sweet boy who she taught to be the most respectful little man. She’s a gorgeous 29 year old woman who served in our military and was working hard to becoming a nurse. She won over the heart of my cousin Cameron a few years ago and they got engaged, promising their future to one another. Stacy was first diagnosed with cancer over a year ago, stage 3 breast cancer. She fought hard and did it all with a smile on her face. Countless pictures she would post would show up in my facebook newsfeed of her getting chemo smiling and keeping positive. I know she was keeping a brave face on for her little boy as well, all of us parents know all to well the thoughts she must have been enduring during this extremely difficult time. Stacy beat the breast cancer and had a double masectimy but unfortunatly the lymph nodes they removed during her surgery came back cancerous again. After that the cancer moved to her lungs and her trachea as well as her liver. This girl endured so much pain and still managed to smile and find the positive things in her life. Above all else, all Stacy cared about was her son London. I can not even put into words what an amazing mother she is and how much love she gave to her boy.
On Thursday, Stacy went to be with her dad in Heaven. She passed peacefully with those who loved her around her. She leaves behind her son London and her fiance Cameron who I know will do such an amazing job raising London to be the man that Stacy would be proud of. I spent most of the day knowing that her death was coming and dragging myself through the motions of the day. I cried at least once an hour. As a parent, this is hitting me harder than ever. Stacy loved her son London so much and she fought this cancer with every fiber in her being because all she wanted was to be her sons superhero. I couldn’t get through the thoughts in my head of the things she will miss out on and how this little boy will now group up with out his mother. Needless to say, I held both my girls a little longer before I put them to bed.
My heart hurts, my whole body hurts, I don’t want to move. If I’m feeling this way, I can not begin to even imagine what my cousin and Stacys family is going through at this time. But my tears will not do this family any good, it will not help ease their pain of the loss of such a beautiful woman. What I can do, is vow to keep Stacy’s name alive. I can vow to help in any way that I can to make her son’s life what she would have wanted it to be. I can promise to take on burdens so that her family doesn’t have to. Mind you, I’m states away from my cousin and her family but that won’t stop me from doing everything that I can for them.
I’ve thought hard about how I want to honor Stacy and I’m going to do it the best way that I know how, I will run for her. On December 10th I will be running the Kiawah Island Half Marathon in Stacys honor. Not only this, but I will dye my hair pink in support of breast cancer awareness. To add to this, I plan to set up a fund to help with London and Cameron’s Christmas this year. Christmas is right around the corner and I want to ease their burden as much as I can. Although I’m positive the only thing they would wish for is to have Stacy for Christmas, I will try my best to make their Christmas as easy, loving, and joyful as possible while easing the burden and stresses of the holidays. I plan to provide Christmas presents to London which will include toys, clothes, and necessities that he needs. As well I’d like to get some gift cards for Cameron and London to use for local restaurants so that Cameron can focus quality time with London instead of worrying about preparing meals. If any of our family members or friends would like to join me in getting some items for Cameron and London for Christmas, I do have a fundraising page set up in which I’ll use the funds directly for what I stated above or if there is something specific you would like me to get with your funds and deliver to them at Christmas, I am happy to do so, just let me know. If you would rather use paypal you can send it to: Mhetr1@gmail.com In this time they need to focus on each other and family. They have to endure the one thing we all never want to happen, losing someone we love.
With that I ask for your thoughts and prayers for the family. They can use every ounce of love and support from family, friends, and strangers.