Chit Chat

Retiring “I will never….”

Yesterday I read an article on “Run Selfie Repeat” facebook page. If you don’t follow her, you totally should. She’s hilarious, she keeps it real, she loves running, and she is truly motivational. Those are the qualities I look for in a role model.

She posted a video yesterday morning that resonated in me. She talked about how she wasn’t trying to qualify for Boston because she thought it was impossible. Let’s be honest: It is extremely hard to qualify for the Boston Marathon. It is the most prestigious race in history and therefore the qualifying times are extremely difficult to obtain. She mentioned that because she felt it impossible, she never thought to even bother with it. Someone called her out on that. She is the type of person to take on the impossible.

I want to be the type of person to take on the impossible.
Every year I sit on my couch, entranced by the Boston Marathon. My eyes are glued to the Television and I dream of striding along the same roads as the greats. To hear the cheers from the crowd, to feel the warmth of the fellow Boston runners, to climb heart break hill, and to cross the finish line with that pride, those are the things I dream of. If you ask my husband, Tony, he will tell you that every year you can hear me say “I’ll never be able to qualify for Boston until I’m 70…” Then I’ll go on to talk about how I dream of accomplishing Boston one day. I’ll talk about how scary a marathon is to me and how for reasons X Y and Z, I’ll never be as fast as the people I’m watching on T.V. Needless to say, it’s a whole lot of “I will never…”

When did I let myself get to the point where I thought it was okay to not try anymore? When did I let myself repeat “Oh I’ll never be able to…” Who is this person? I have always been a person to talk about my dreams and aspirations. I’ve always set huge goals for myself without ever questioning my abilities. I’ve always been the type of person to encourage other people to go after their dreams. Nothing is impossible.  So why was I constantly saying it about Boston? Here is what I’ve come up with:

  1. I’m saying it because the thought of the amount of work that goes into it, scares the hell out of me.
  2. The thought of failing scares the hell out of me
  3. I’m looking for reasons to justify not having started working towards this goal already

 

Here is the worst part of all of this: I’ve made this statement in front of Fiona. Sure, she’s 3 years old and maybe she hasn’t picked up on hearing mommy say these things but is that the type of attitude I want to portray around my daughter? not at all. I never want to hear my baby girls say “I will never be able to…” I’ll smack that statement down immediately. We are women, hear us ROAR!  They can do anything their hearts set out to do and I want them to always remember that. More and more I have heard Fiona repeating things I had no idea she was listening to.  Her mother needs to lead by example. I need to show her that reaching for the impossible will help her learn about herself, grow, and maybe accomplish things she never thought possible.  I can’t even begin to imagine how much it hurts my mother to hear me say that I feel like I’m incapable of accomplishing something. To this day, my mother still tells me I can do absolutely anything and that I’ve always been the person to go after her dreams. I want Fiona and Vale to know that with hard work and determination, they can do anything they set their mind to. It won’t necessarily be easy and they might not achieve everything they set out to do, but they need to try. They need to believe in themselves, and they need to give it their all. They will be more satisfied with their life if they at least try to accomplish all of their dreams. Leaving it all out there and allowing there to be no regrets.

So here goes, no turning back now. I am registering for my first Marathon. (Seriously, what am I thinking.. I don’t even want to drive 26 miles to go shopping, let alone run that far.)

Hello Charleston Marathon, I’m coming for you. Boston– I’m coming for you too and if I can’t, I’ll die trying. (It’s quite possible I actually die…. uggggh 26.2 freaking miles)

I’m retiring the phrase “I will never be able to…” I’m retiring the mentality that if something seems impossible, I wont even bother to try. That is NOT the type of person I am, that is NOT the type of mother I want to be to my girls, and that is NOT something I want my girls to think is a way to live your life. You could miss out on so much by not trying.

I’ll post more about the Charleston Marathon & Boston later on. For now I just want you all to know that you are capable of amazing things. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from trying. Give it your all, lay it all on the line, leave nothing on the course, that way you can feel proud in the end, no matter the outcome.

 

XoXo

Michelle

 

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